In this poem, Robert Frost focuses on two people's inability to use language to communicate their individual dilemmas. The husband "can't . . . speak of his own child he's lost" because his "words are nearly always an offense," and he can't ask the right question because his wife says he doesn't "know how to ask it." The wife, Amy, is inarticulate in her despair, and while she says that her husband has no right to talk because he isn't grieving appropriately, she herself cannot sufficiently capture her emotions in words. When her husband says to her, "There, you have said it all and you feel better, " she reacts with contempt: "You - oh, you think the talk is all. I must go -" Frost uses dialogue to reveal the anger and frustration of both the husband and wife and their difficulty communicating, and in turn makes their exchange more sincere and heartbreaking.
The majority of the poem is dialogue between Amy and her husband. Frost purposely does this to show how a death can change a relationship and create emotions that are hard to process and share. Neither of them can use language authoritatively, and this condemns them both to unhappiness because they cannot maturely communicate their distress. This causes an argument that ends in Amy leaving.
Does one speaker show more control, through dialogue, and thus more good sense than the other?
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I don't think that one speaker shows more control than the other. I do believe that both are fustrated and in destress because of the loss of their child. I also think that Amy, because she wants to talk about it and speaks more in the passage shows her lack of control. It reveals her anger, because her husband wants to try and she continusouly shuts him down and insults him, revealing that she has no good sense. Then comes the husband, because he speaks less i think that he has more patience for his wife's anger, and lets her lash out at him. He, to me has more good sense, not over the situation of their dead child but of his ability to take his wife's action and words
ReplyDeleteI'm not certain what the question is asking... what sort of "control" are we dealing with here? If the question adresses control of the specific situation at hand (i.e. the arguement discribed in "Home Burial")then Amy has greater control throughout because it is her who is accusing her husband, whereas the husband at least at first, does not respond to Amy's accusations, except for the "you're overdoing it..." comment. However, if the question deals with control of the situation as a whole, and here I am referring to the loss of the child, the husband has more control over his own emotions (for he does not openly grieve the loss of his son)while Amy is beside herself with grief. The husband, also, excercises more control over the houshold as a whole, as can be seen from the fact that he promises to "bring [Amy] back by force" if she were to leave again. As for "good sense" again it is my opinion that the idea is too broad, in a sense, to come up with a solid conclusion, for there concepts are too subjective in their nature.
ReplyDeleteI don't think either of the characters made "good sense". Often times, people uses words as attacks rather than reasoning in arguments. The level of frustration the wife must have felt surpasses the husband's in the beginning of the poem. Towards the end however, the husband gets so fed up with rage that he semi-explodes on her. It appears that the husband may have had more good sense than the wife because he doesn't want to start a fight with her (again). Amy is blinded by her rage with her husband. She is upset that her husband does not grieve the same way she does. The husband doesn't verbally attack her but instead, tries to be considerate of her and her emotions/thoughts. The only type of control would be physical control because at the end the husband threatens the wife about leaving (again).
ReplyDeleteThe husband has more control in his dialogue against Amy. The husband holds his emotions more together than Amy and doesn't break down when she confronts him. Although Amy is finding her husbands faults in his emotional response to their child's death, the husband easily shuts Amy down with questions like "You'd think his memory might be satisfied-". The husband is listening to Amy but her extreme sadness will not change his feelings. The husbands stern tone, emotions, and physical actions toward his wife will not change nor will he cave in with her. The husband makes more logical sense by defending his personal form of grieving. Amy's only defense for her negative feelings against her husband is that he was careless and not affected by his child's death, while he dug his grave. The husband disagrees with Amy's choice of grieving and remains with his opinion through out the entire poem.
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ReplyDeleteI think that the husband had more good sense because he was capable of control. Although he did not outwardly grieve, he saw that their child's death was destroying their relationship and tried to figure out some way of consoling his wife. Each is frustrated with the other, but the husband tries to talk to his wife while Amy has to run to someone else because she assumes that the husband is incapable of grieving. Amy could not process her emotions, so she accuses her husband of making the earth from their child's grave leap. Her holding on to wrong interpretations of her husband's actions tells us that she'd rather talk about less important things instead of confronting the reality of her child's death.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the voice of Amy is portrayed to overshadow her companion. Amy's emotions are an infusion of frustration, pain, anger, rage, anguish, and heartache. While the husband's emotions depict animosity portraying him as her oppressor. This makes readers feel sympathetic towards Amy and not her husband, a reason, I believe that the author left the husband unnamed. Furthermore, the husband's role in the poem also consisted of nagging Amy to remember the loss of their son instead of allowing her to move on. He was selfish because he had already found a way to deal with it, but he did not let her do so. Therefore, Amy showed more good sense than her husband.
ReplyDeleteYea im not so sure what it is that you are asking. Control?? Obviously since both are arguing, there is a definite lack of control from both sides. Even though it may seem as if Amy is the one who lacks the most control(since she is the one crying and yelling and accussing her husband), I still believe that the husband also lacks control of his own emotions since he does not know how to outwardly deal with all this grief. Instead of dealing it with it in a safe way, he keeps it all bottled up which is obviously not in his favor.
ReplyDeleteBoth appear to be equally controlling, but in different ways. Amy continually tells her husband that he cannot grieve properly, and therefore shouldn't speak at all about the death of their child. The poem doesn't even give the husbands name, so it is as if he has no value. However, the husband thinks Amy grieves too much. He does not want to let her leave (although it has happened before and it may be an affair) and even says at the end that he would bring her back by force. Both are pressing their oppinions on the other about grieving too much (overdoing it) and grieving to little.
ReplyDeleteI feel both make valid points, and both points make sense. Amy is grieving more visibly than her husband, and why shouldn't she? She is the mother. A mother losing her child is a horrible experience. On the other hand, what has happened cannot be changed, and the husband moves on, although he is definitely thinking about the loss of his child, and even connects the three and one graves to his thoughts on rain ruining birches.
Although the husband and Amy may not be equally focused on in the poem, but they make equal points and equally control the arguments.
i dont think one is more controlling over the other. The husband just wants to feel her pain and help her through her emotion, so he has more common sense. The wife is just living too much in the past and misses her child. She just seems to be angry since her husband is grieving in a different way that is more laid back, which makes the wife look a little crazy. She is a mother who had a child, gave birth, so of course she would be more attached than a husband. No one is more controlling though through the dialogue. They are both powerful in their own ways.
ReplyDeleteI think that one of the purposes of the poem is to show how people lose control of their lives and relationships while grieving death. Therefore, I believe that both characters are not in control. Also, I think that Frost is portraying that "good sense" is obscure after a death because to both Amy and her husband, the way they are dealing with their grief makes the most sense to them. Amy thinks that not moving on and dwelling on her son's death is the most sensible way to deal with the tragedy. Yet her husband knows that the way to deal with the death is to move on and try to get his wife to do the same. Therefore, both characters are trying to what they think makes the most sense. Yet, neither of them are happy with one another. Both husband and wife have completely lost control of their relationship and are no longer able to communicate and connect with one another.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Katie, I think that Frost is trying to show how people can loose their sense of control and judgment when faced with a painful death. However I do think that the husband in "Home Burial" shows slightly more control through his dialogue. Yet I do not think that necessarily suggests that he has better sense. He has more control because he can more clearly articulate his feelings and he is trying to move forward and deal with his grief in a progressive way. I do not think there is "good sense" or bad sense in this situation. Both Amy and her husband believe that how they are dealing with their son’s death is the most sensible.
ReplyDeletein my opinion they are both controlling it seems that both have control. The husband has more control in the whole situation because he basically made Amy stay. She wanted to leave and he made her stay, and she obviously fights back, because the husband said she acts like this normally.
ReplyDeleteAmy seems that in this conversation, she speaks more and seems more distressed over it. She obviously is more mad, and seems that just doesn't give the husband a chance to retaliate in the conversation.
So essentially they both have control over each other, in different ways
I think the question is not clearly stated but if you are asking who has more control in the argument between Amy and her husband then i don't think that either of them have control. I do think that they both make good sense and have reasonable points that they both have to look at but neither of them has any control of the argument, they are both yelling at each other and trying to defend themselves. When you say control i think of someone wining the argument or the other person admitting fault, but here no one is really right or wrong so no one can take control of it, it's like a battle. I do think that they might have lost control over some parts of their lives because of the loss of their son, like Amy losing control of being able to communicate with her husband and express her feeling and him not being able to talk to her without starting and argument or him being able to really express himself.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that one speaker has more control or good sense than the other through dialogue. As they both speak to each other, they appear to struggle as far as expressing one's feelings. Just because one uses more dialogue definitely does not mean that one has more control than the other or "good sense". They both appear unable to control precisely what they want to express, and the use of dialogue only complicates matters because one might say something and then regret that statement later. Just because Amy talks or the husband talks, does not mean that one has more control. -Annette Fernandez
ReplyDeleteI think that both speakers do not have control more than the other person. If the husband had control over the dialogue he would have kept Amy from leaving, but in the end of the poem it is left to assumed that Amy left him. If the husband had control he would not let Amy wrongly interpret what he said. Amy does not have control over the dialogue between the two either because she is too lost and upset over the death of her child. Amy's thoughts are all around the dead child. Amy never thought about the husband's feeling. This couple lacks in communication because they let their misunderstandings build up.
ReplyDeleteI think both speakers in Frost's poem are extremely emotionally distraught people who do not possess more control than the other in terms of dialogue. The husband cannot keep himself from being detatched and condescending, and Alice has to leave the house to deal with the emotions which are the focal point of their conversation. They have both lost their self control in terms of words and physical actions, and their lack of control over expression is exemplified through the communication barriers which seem to be keeping them from understanding one another. Also, neither character is more virtious than another as they both posess glaring faults. The husband is guilty of being insensitive to his wife's emotions, but the wife's resistance to his efforts of reconciliation and eventual exit from the house put her on the same level.
ReplyDeleteI do not think either speaker had control over the other. In the poem, Amy is trying to prove that the way her husband has grieved for the loss of their child is wrong and that the only way to grieve is her way. On the other hand, the husband is conveying his grief by burying their child and moving on with life. Both speakers are determined to convey that their view of grief is the right one and are too stubborn to compromise. The fact that Amy leaves at the end of the poem illustrates that the conflict between the two speakers is unresolved and thus now speaker won.
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